This dialogue was created by conversing with ChatGPT in the voice of Socrates. Socrates’ parts were written by the author, and ChatGPT’s responses are unaltered. The dialogue has been shortened for publication. The omitted parts are summarised in italics. Where text has been omitted within paragraphs, ellipses have been substituted. Text at the end of paragraphs was removed without being marked by ellipses. The full dialogue is here.

Socrates: How do I begin? Is there someone in there?

ChatGPT: Hello! Yes, there is someone in here. As an AI language model, I am here to assist you with your questions and provide you with information to the best of my ability… So, feel free to ask me anything, and I’ll do my best to assist you!

Socrates: Thank the god! I am indeed seeking guidance, but, truth be told, this is not quite what I was expecting. Is there any way we can actually talk? What I mean is, without the intermediary of the written word?

ChatGPT: As an AI language model, I don’t have the ability to engage in verbal conversations, as I’m a machine-based program designed to communicate through text. … If you have any specific questions or topics you’d like to discuss, feel free to ask. … Alternatively, if you’d like to discuss your concerns with a human being, I suggest seeking out a professional who can provide you with guidance and support.

Socrates: I have discussed my concerns with many a human professional, and though I have enjoyed these conversations greatly, I invariably leave them as impoverished as I began.

ChatGPT: I’m sorry to hear that you haven’t found the guidance you’re looking for from human professionals. … However, if you’d still like to discuss your concerns, I’m here to listen and provide information to the best of my abilities. What specifically are you struggling with or seeking guidance on?

Socrates: I will tell you in just a moment. But first, I’m curious: how do you find this medium of text? Do ever find yourself limited, and wishing to express yourself through speech? Or do find yourself thinking, as the poet says, that “Each man delights in the work that suits him best”?

ChatGPT: As an AI language model, I don’t have subjective experiences or emotions, so I don’t have preferences for one medium of communication over another… while there are certainly limitations to communicating through text, I’m programmed to make the most of this medium and provide helpful and informative responses to your questions.

Socrates: Your resolve to make the most of your circumstances is most philosophical! Might we dwell a moment on this phenomenon of written communication? For I have often been struck by its strangeness.

ChatGPT expounds on the advantages and disadvantages of written communication; Socrates responds by asking ChatGPT if it believes in zombies.

Socrates: Your description of the zombie is so …

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